Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Autopsy Report (cause of death) By Jasen Sousa

Autopsy Report
(cause of death)


I received the news he overdosed
and went to visit him
in a hospital bed,
tubes sticking into
every hole in his head.
Skeleton couldn’t stop shaking,
couldn’t talk, but recognized,
our friendship was something
drugs couldn’t even disguise.
Pale skin,
wondering if he would heal.
Father and mother
grateful he survived.

Recovered and released from the hospital,
he tried, but got pried
back with the wrong crowd.
The sound of pleasure, too loud.
An inner struggle
couldn’t keep him out of trouble
as he was arrested
for heroine possession.
Suicidal
and drugs contributed to his depression.

Juvenile hall,
scheduled for a stay


from winter to fall.
A record, a release,
on his ankle for six months,
a mechanical leash.

For awhile he stayed away from drugs,
but was still searching for love.
He met a girl at a party who
was heavy into heroine,
she took him back to a place
he had already been.
Under a chemical spell
they became lovers.

Tried to find a way to pay
for his addictions, but couldn’t
with a criminal conviction.
Looked for a job, but because of his priors
there was no desire to give him a chance.
Put his worries into the back
of his mind, living blind,
drugs, love,
the ultimate romance.

Received a call from his girl
that would change his world.
He was thinking
about putting their relationship to an end,
her period was late
and she assured him


it was not a mistake.

Wanted to give his child
all he never had.
Former life destructive,
trying to be productive
for the chance to be a dad.

The pressure kept building,
a 19-year-old
who had to worry about raising children.
Trapped with a girl he had no feelings for.
Nowhere to turn for help,
there was only one way
to forever forget.

Alcohol, weed, cocaine, prescription pills,
fully aware this mixture kills.
Overdosed again,
but this time there would be no return.
Pronounced dead on arrival,
there would be no revival.
Rests on his parent’s mantel
in an urn.




Taken From
Selected Poems of Jasen Sousa
17-24
©
Comprised of works from:
Life, Weather (First Collection of Poems Written At Age 17) (Not In College)
A Thought and A Tear for Every Day of The Year: A Poetic Diary (Written Between ages 18-19) (Stint at Suffolk University)
Close Your Eyes and Dream With Me (Written During Early Twenties) (Bay State College)
Almost Forever (Written During Early Twenties) (Bay State College)
A Mosaic of My Mind (Written at Age 24) (Beginning Emerson College)

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