Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I Swear to God By Jasen Sousa

I Swear to God

God what the fuck!
Can’t you hear anything I say?

I have been asking for fucking help for years,
if you don’t answer me soon,
today is the last day I fucking pray!

Yeah, fuck that!
Pretty soon
I’m going to stop believing this religion bullshit,
I’m starting to think it has no meaning.

Fuck my values!
Fuck my ethics!
I try to live righteously,
but all anyone wants to do is fight,
I live a good life, but no one respects it.

I mean what the fuck is the point,
there might not even be any heavenly kingdom?
It might be all mother fucking lies!
I’ll never be able to hear angels singing!

If this fucking life is all there is,
I’m going to be so fucking pissed!
So much shit I fucking missed!
So many girls I could have kissed!

Crazy sex, drugs, stealing, killing,
living a life all out wild,
I didn’t do any of it,
I believed I was God’s child!
God, I’m in fucking denial!

I’m sick and don’t know if I’ll get well,
if there is a God,

sometimes it’s so hard to fucking tell!
I swear to fucking God,
if you can hear me
send me straight to fucking Hell!

I swear to fucking God
I did all I could for every person,
but my situation would always worsen,
that’s why God, that I’m fucking cursing!

I’m down here
drowning in your fucking rain,
that’s why I am pointing my
fucking finger towards you with blame!

I swear to fucking God
I see demons while I’m dreaming,
no God, no angels, no saints.
Look at the life captured inside my books,
the picture that someone like me paints.

I swear to fucking God
you better show me a sign
that I’m not losing
my mother fucking mind.

I’m calling you out God,
Mr. Mother Fucking Divine.
I eat the bread that is your body
and drink your blood you say is wine.

Show yourself to me God!
Don’t you think it’s about fucking time?
You’re hiding up in the clouds

while we’re down here dying!
Those punk mother fucker prophets from the bible,
Moses, John, Matthew, Paul,
they were all fucking lying!

That’s fucking right God,
I’m questioning your power,
your courage, your entire fucking existence!
I swear to God that if you showed yourself,
I would stop writing instantly.

I was fucking taught
to believe in you at an early age
and now I’m asking you to believe in me!
Stop avoiding and eluding me,
stop fucking deceiving me!
Show yourself God,
it’s time for you to guide us with your grace.
Show yourself God,
show your mother fucking face!!!!

Taken From
Selected Poems of Jasen Sousa
Comprised of works from:
Life, Weather (First Collection of Poems Written At Age 17) (Not In College)
A Thought and A Tear for Every Day of The Year: A Poetic Diary (Written Between ages 18-19) (Stint at Suffolk University)
Close Your Eyes and Dream With Me (Written During Early Twenties) (Bay State College)
Almost Forever (Written During Early Twenties) (Bay State College)
A Mosaic of My Mind (Written at Age 24) (Beginning Emerson College)

No comments: